SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT: Thursday 2/9 – Red Bank, NJ

Posted on 2012/01/12 by Dave

Poster time:

Heads-up to my Central Jersey locals (and people who don’t mind taking a little trip), this is going to be a great show. Dublin House feature shows have consistently been a really good time, and this one shouldn’t be any exception. Bonnie is tremendous. I know Chris and Kevin, and both of them are super-funny dudes. It might be worth showing up early for this one.

You have to put up with me doing my thing for a bit, but still, that plus ten bucks is a small price to pay for the show you’re going to get. Feel free to hit me up with any questions, and I can’t wait to see some of you guys on the 9th.

Cultish Personalities

Posted on 2012/01/09 by Dave

Yes, the post title is a reference to a song from 1988. But WWE Champion CM Punk made it cool again, so it’s okay.

Since my previous blog post, a few of my runner-friends have come out of the woodwork to offer advice and encouragement (thanks for that, guys). They invariably ask, “So, what race are you training for?” I explain that, at this point, I have no race aspirations. They, almost uniformly, respond, “You will.” That’s typically followed by an even creepier, unshakably confident assertion that one race would inevitably lead to another, and another, and another…

Even being just ankle-deep in my foray into running, one thing is already clear: runners are a cult. Continue reading →

Great Moments in Hypocrisy: Running

Posted on 2012/01/03 by Dave

I, Dave Hayward, am a hypocrite. I’m not going to try and defend myself. It’s true; there is often a significant disconnect between the things that I say and the things that I do. This was as painfully apparent to me as ever last Friday, when I made a purchase that flew directly in the face of comments I’ve made in private, public, and posted on the internet for the universe to see in perpetuity. I bought running shoes. Continue reading →

VOTE OR DIE, New Jersey!!

Posted on 2011/11/08 by Dave

Elections are a joke. I’ve done jokes about how every election gets billed as “the most important of our time”, but, honestly, who really thinks life would be a ton different if 1996 went the other way? Today, if you live in New Jersey, is different. Today, the voice of the people can be heard.

LEGALIZE IT! (Sports betting, that is)

If you didn’t feel up to reading the poor-quality picture I got with my camera phone in at the ballot today, I’ll summarize and add some context: Continue reading →

Dominate On Sunday, Tom

Posted on 2011/11/04 by Dave

UPDATE: Tom’s Time – 4:06. Not too shabby.

I’d say “Good Luck”, but this dude has been preparing so hard, luck will have very little to do with it.

96 – 99th Percents Distraught Over Expulsion from #OccupyWallSt

Posted on 2011/10/21 by Dave

"We're not gonna protest!"

NEW YORK — “It’s just not right. We’ve been standing with everyone since the beginning, and they’re just throwing us to the curb like trash on to the Jersey Turnpike,” Wilson Prescot, a doctor from Wayne, NJ, said.

Dr. Prescot’s sentiments are shared by a number of protesters effectively evicted from the Zucotti Park Occupy Wall Street protests, after self-appointed movement leadership decided that they would be more effective representing “The 95%” rather than “The 99%”. The controversial move means that those making more than $235,000 per year, as opposed to $480,000 under the 99% stance, have been deemed part of the “oppressor” class, and are not welcome at the protests. Continue reading →

Dave IS NOT Running for President (Video Clip)

Posted on 2011/10/08 by Dave

I know, I know, I know. People want stand-up clips. I’m going to try and get better about posting those with a little bit of regularity. Here a start:

Hey, Governor Christie himself said that jokes at his expense were okay, as long as they were funny.

Was last night the best night of regular season baseball ever?

Posted on 2011/09/29 by Dave

Maybe. I’d be pretty hard-pressed to remember a better one. I was absolutely riveted by six different games last night – the four that decided the two wild card spots, and the two that ultimately dictated the Yankees’ ALDS opponent. I also had some interest in the game where Ryan Braun validated José Reyes’ decision to pad his batting average with a first inning bunt-hit and call it a season.

Jose doesn't care what you think

First off, everybody needs to knock it off with the Reyes-bashing. Calling it a season upon, more or less, locking down a batting title is a baseball tradition. Bernie Williams did it in 1998. Derek Jeter has called it a season early to protect a .300 average, and he probably would have done it again last night if he had the chance. You’re kidding yourself if you think Braun wouldn’t have done the same thing. The main criticism seems to be “José is no Ted Williams!” Fine. You know who else is “no Ted Williams”? Every baseball player in history not-named Ted Williams. I have no doubt Reyes’ agent was very forceful in explaining the implications of a batting title to his upcoming free agency. Nobody keeps a list of guys who were #2 in the league in batting average, and all of the people who have never been in a race for a Major League batting title need to shut up. Note that does not include Keith Hernandez. The MVP (who also won a batting title) can criticize the move with some credibility.

Next, on to the Wild Cards. The St. Louis Cardinals did what they were supposed to do in absolutely drubbing an inferior Astros team. That added further juice to the Atlanta / Philly game, where it was quickly apparent that the Braves were in a do-or-die situation against a Phillies team that had nothing to gain.

Over in the American League, the Yankees, similarly with nothing to gain, put up a big, early lead against a Rays team fighting for its playoff life. Shortly after a Mark Teixeira grand slam, I tweeted this:

Dave Hayward's Official Website

Author Archives: Dave